Today June 29,2010

Lord, you know I need a brand new touch, my strength from yesterday is gone and if You give me Lord another touch, I'll have the strength to carry on. Lord, you know how weak I really am, even better than myself. Good morning, Lord. Have I told You lately how much I need You and Your Holy Presence in my life? Have I told You that I am only one breath away from being with You forever? Have I told You how very grateful for all the gifts that I cherish on this earth? Have I told You that knowing You is the most important thing in my life? If I don't tell You enough, I apologize. I ask You That's what makes You different than Your Creation. You are all perfection, You are all forgiving, merciful and kind. I love You so much and I need You so desperately in my life.

As You run toward me, I run toward You. I take off this hospital gown and let You see my heart. I ask You to look at the weaker (according to what the test say), I ask You to touch the places in the veins that stop the blood flow. I deserve health, because Jesus paid a great price for my health. The enemy or my flesh is NOT the determining factor here. I will not stop proclaiming that Jesus loves me and God will make a way when there seems to be no way. A hospital room, an uncomfortable procedure WILL NOT water down the truth. God is able, I don't need pity, I need prayer, strong effectual prayer. We are overcomers, we are not defeated. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow hasn't come yet, Today is it, this moment, this minute, this hour. I am so grateful that my name is written in the Lamb's Book of Life and I will never die. I miss and love you all very much. Today I am

Shutting up and Looking up,
Mary Ann

THURSDAY June 10, 2010

Good morning, Father.  I love you and I am so grateful that You have chosen me.  I fall down at your feet and worship You.  I cry Holy, I cry Holy, Perfect is the Lord God Almighty.  I fall down and lay my crowns (accomplishments) at Your feet and cry Holy, Holy, Holy.  My souls cries out for the fresh water that only You can give.  My soul hungers for the food that can only come from Your presence.  There is a draw from my soul that pants after You.  Where can I go that You aren’t there?  I fall down for it is only there where I can find rest for my weary soul.  I cry Holy, Holy, Holy, is the Lord.  I surrender.

God is faithful.  God is always working on our behalf.  At my new job, there are many times that I have to call someone on behalf of another person and ask something for that person.  I become an advocate for that person.  Jesus is an advocate for us.  He has given up everything for us and is continually representing us to the Father.  He says, “His righteousness covers all our sins”.  He has the authority to “ask” on our behalf.  We cry, Holy, Holy, Holy.  We have the responsibility to say yes,  Yes, to His  representation of us.  We trust in His genuine love and concern for us.  We realize that He is our lawyer in the trial of life.  He never loses a case, He has already won the battle.  It is over, He is victorious.

This week has been good.  I have been able to spend lots of time with those I love.  I am seeing many miracles happen in my life and I am encouraged in the steps that I am taking.  I also see the areas that need more of the Grace that Jesus has given me.  I desire to “just sit with You awhile”.  There are so many things that need to be done, I seem pushed to “get it done”.  But….I am so hungry, I am so thirsty and I know that only in Your presence can I find the water and food that I need to be satisfied.  So….for awhile I am going to stop.  I have to or I will dry up.  I love You so much, Jesus.  You have given me my heart’s desires.  I know that one day I will leave this earth and walk on streets of gold with You.  But for this day, I am

Sitting with you for awhile,

Mary Ann

FRIDAY May 28, 2010

IMPERFECT HALLELUJAH (Ashmont Hill)

Good morning Lord.  Or is it morning????  I worked until really late last night and ony went to bed about 3 hours ago.  I will attempt to “pour out” my heart to You.  Lord, receive my broken melody, my imperfect hallelujah.  My body screams out.  Your creation sings in harmony with a perfect song to You.  I believe that I am on the verge of a miracle.  Like a river I am running to you, like the ocean I will dance for You.  My desire is to join with all creation in Praise.  Like the rocks, I’ll cry out to you, like the mountains I will bow to you.  In praise, in praise.  Your creation sings in harmony, with a perfect song to You.  Lord, receive my broken melody, my imperfect praise to You.  I love You, I am convinced that my only hope is You and only with You will I find rest for my troubled, busy soul.

You all encourage me.  Amazing how you (my readers) encourage me.  One of you wrote yesterday that I was brutally honest.  That’s partly true, I let you hear most of the story, but today because you have encouraged me, I am going to allow you to hear the “real”, another  part of my heart.  I need you, I need your prayers, I need your help.  I know that only through your prayers and God’s help can I overcome this.  “This” is this:  when I am tired or stressed (which is much of the time), I sit in front of the TV and binge.  This is one of “those things we do” in my family.  It is causing me to lose time, health, victory.  I need victory in this area.  I need your prayers to change.

I need the power of my faithful, loving Lord to free me from “this”.  I know the solution, I just don’t do it.  The things I know to do are the very things I don’t do.  I know many of you are sitting on the edge of your computer chair with the answer.  Please don’t give me the “pat” answer, I know it.  Please, please pray for me.  My favorite scripture from my brother, David, right now is Psalm 13.  “How long oh Lord, Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me.  How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?  How long will my enemy triumph over me?  ….But I trust in Your unfailing love, my heart rejoices in Your salvation.  I will sing to the Lord for He has been good to me”.  Those are the words of the greatest human (outside of God Himself) that ever lived in my opinion.  I need your prayers, that is the truth.  Because of Christ I am perfect, I don’t need anything beside Him.  He is my deliverer.  Please pray as I draw closer to Him, He will drive out this “this”.  Today I am

Singing a broken melody to a perfect Lord,

Mary Ann

THURSDAY May 27, 2010

WORTHY IS THE LAMB (Darlene Zschech)

Worthy is the Lamb.  Worthy is the Lamb.  Thank You for the Cross, Lord, Thank You for the price You paid.  Bearing all my sin and shame in love You came, Your amazing Grace.  I am so grateful for Your love and protection in my life.  You are becoming more and more real to me every day.  You are not just a character that I read about and others talk about You, You are with me and I can sense You as I walk this life.

Moses was a man of faith, a man of vision, humble and obedient.  God used him mightily.  Scripture says …”and the Lord said furthermore unto him, put now thine hand into thy bosom,.  And he put his hand into his bosom; and when he took it out, behold, his hand was leprous as snow” Exodus 4:6)  David Wilkerson explains this as Moses learning what the flesh really looks like, it is full of leprosy.  When he touched near his heart, he saw just how “unclean” his flesh was.  When self (flesh) is in control, it is full of leprosy.  When we walk in our own abilities, the flesh is exalted and there is nothing pretty about our flesh full of “leprosy”.  It will fail us and others all the time. 

God then told Moses to put his hand back into his bosom and the leprosy was gone.  God had shown him how ugly his “flesh”  could be.  It is only under the direction of God that we can be free of “leprosy”.  It is when our soul is exposed, when our deepest sins are exposed and brought to the light before the Lord are we free from “leprosy”.  Our flesh has no power, it is full of “leprosy”.  It is only as we realize the condition of our own soul and run to the Savior for His mercy are we healed of our afflictions.  His forgiveness and His embrace.  He is worthy, He is our Healer.  I love Him so much….He has been so good to me.  Today I am

Washing off the “flesh” left behind,

Mary Ann

WEDNESDAY May 26, 2010

SO IN LOVE (Jeremy Camp)

Steps.  When I woke up this morning, I noticed how I took off my bedroom shoes before I went to bed.  They weren’t laying side by side as usual, it looked like I was walking out of them as I took the step, far enough apart to show my step distance.  I think about taking steps as I walk out this life.  Then I thought about watching the season finale of Biggest Loser last night.  In about 5 months that man had shed over 200 pounds.  He had a quick “fix” and succeeded in something that would normally take years to do. He was a sprinter rather than a long distance runner.  Slow, step by step, should be our relationship with Christ.  Our culture is used to fast.  Fast everything.  Waiting is a dirty word to all of us.  Step by step versus leaps is not our type of thinking.  We don’t want to take steps, we want to take jet airplanes. 

If I could just sit with you awhile.  I need You to hold me, moment by moment until forever passes by.  I need to lay in Your arms and rest, not struggle to get out and run this race, FAST.  Step by step, one moment at a time.  I won’t have the final “weigh in” until I stand in Your presence.  I will run this race with patience.  My steps are ordered, the length and the breath of my steps are in Your hands.  I will not allow the pressure of this world, to run here, do this, absorb my time and direction on this earth.  I’m telling my story as I advance toward my forever home.  I might be taking two steps forward and one step backward, but I am still dancing and walking life.  I am grateful that God will hold me when I can’t walk on my own.  I will not allow the pressures of this world to cause me to run so fast that I don’t have the time to sit at Your feet, and worship You slowly.  Today I am

Sitting under His shadow quietly and at peace,

Mary Ann

TUESDAY May 25, 2010

THANK YOU LORD (Dennis Jernigan)

Thank you for loving and setting me free, thank You for giving Your life just for me.  I am amazed that You love me so passionately.  For all that You have done and all that You are going to do, all that You’ve promised and all that You are is all that has carried me through.  When I think about the scripture that says that you watch over me as I sleep, I am in awe.  That you say to me “Come unto me”, that You are drawing me close to You.  Sometimes I get so busy with life that I forget to “sit with you awhile”.  The enemy of this world is constantly offering me “stuff” to draw me away from You.  I repent of the things that I put in front of my time with You.  I ask You to give me the strength today to say no to FaceBook and other distractions.  I ask You to fill my well with Living Water that I can only get from You.

“Those who look to Him are radiant, their faces are never covered with shame”.  It is so hard to comprehend the idea that I presented to you yesterday.  That we are all on “level playing fields”.  That someone who doesn’t struggle with food addictions, facebook addictions, etc can be the same as myself who does struggle with these things. All of us  are never covered with shame.  The reason that my face is never covered with shame is because my life is hidden in Christ and therefore there is no shame.  The reason that my face shines is because I am covered in the RIGHT eousness of Christ and not my own addictions and struggles.  I am so much more than what the human eye can see. 

Londyn says “I did it” all the time now.  She means “I do it” as she expresses her independence from others.  Much of that is natural and she will continue to “do it” as she grows up.  But In the spiritual world it is different.  Our natural self says “independence”, our spiritual life says “dependence”.  We are born with the draw to be independent of God in our lives.  We have to learn dependence, it doesn’t come naturally.  We learn that by “needing” Him and recognizing that we can’t “do it” alone.  As we taste and see that the Lord is good and He will never, ever fail us.  He is always there and we can depend on His loving kindness.  He desires us to come into His gates and into His courts with praise.  He will never deny our entrance.  He will stand up and say, “here is my child that I love deeply, they are allowed into my courts at all times”.  I can almost see a child playing in His palace as He conducts business.  A child that is privy to the God of the universe.  Today Lord, I will

Sit at Your feet and learn of Your ways, depending on You for everything I need

Mary Ann

MONDAY May 24, 2010

YOU ARE MY STRENGTH (Hillsong)

You are my strength, strength like no other reaches to me.  You are my hope, hope like no other reaches to me.  In the fullness of Your Grace, In the power of Your name, You lift me up, You lift me up.  Unfailing Love.  Jesus, You are my strength, I worship You.  I praise You, You love me, It is amazing!!!  You know my every move, You walk with me.  I cannot leave You behind, You live within my heart.  Forgive me for putting others and other things ahead of You.  Change my heart so that I might reflect more of Your glory as I walk out my life.  You lift me up, so that I might sit with You in High Places.  Keep the vision in my heart of the day that I reached up and You reached down.  You pulled me out and put Your arms around me and loved me like I had never been loved and never will be loved. 

Yesterday morning in church, I was impressed with this thought.  The world is teaching that we can find the peace and love that we crave if we look within ourselves with kindness.  We can love ourselves by learning that we have good inside us and finding that good will leads to self love and through that we are overcomers.  That teaching goes against the truth of God.  The Bible says that ALL of our righteousness is as “filthy” rags.  There is nothing good about us, except Jesus and HIS righteousness.  We can’t be good enough.  It is only after we accept His goodness that we are good.  It’s because of Him and because of His Grace we are all on a “level playing field”.  Whether we think “we are” of we think “we aren’t”, it makes no difference.  We are because He is, not because we are. 

I pray you can understand what I am saying.  We have no good, He is ALL GOOD, ALL THE TIME, IN EVERY SITUATION, HE IS PERFECT.  He is God and there is none like Him.  Within Him is the Perfection that we are looking for.  In Him ALL our dreams are fulfilled, ALL victory is won.  Standing behind Him, we find the Peace that we are all craving.  Standing behind Him is the protection that we need to conquer all the Giants in our lives.  He is our strength, He is our hope.  Today I am

Being made perfect because of Christ,

Mary Ann

p.s.  I’m not writing out the song word by word any more.  I am referring to it as I write and allowing the music to help lead me to the Throne Room.  If you want the words of the song, you can either google them on your computer or download the actual songs on your computer.  If you want me to put you on my Itunes List and send them to you, I will do that.  Just email me and let me know.  Also, if you know of anyone that would like to receive these emails, let me know and if you would like to be removed, please let me know as well.