FRIDAY May 28, 2010

IMPERFECT HALLELUJAH (Ashmont Hill)

Good morning Lord.  Or is it morning????  I worked until really late last night and ony went to bed about 3 hours ago.  I will attempt to “pour out” my heart to You.  Lord, receive my broken melody, my imperfect hallelujah.  My body screams out.  Your creation sings in harmony with a perfect song to You.  I believe that I am on the verge of a miracle.  Like a river I am running to you, like the ocean I will dance for You.  My desire is to join with all creation in Praise.  Like the rocks, I’ll cry out to you, like the mountains I will bow to you.  In praise, in praise.  Your creation sings in harmony, with a perfect song to You.  Lord, receive my broken melody, my imperfect praise to You.  I love You, I am convinced that my only hope is You and only with You will I find rest for my troubled, busy soul.

You all encourage me.  Amazing how you (my readers) encourage me.  One of you wrote yesterday that I was brutally honest.  That’s partly true, I let you hear most of the story, but today because you have encouraged me, I am going to allow you to hear the “real”, another  part of my heart.  I need you, I need your prayers, I need your help.  I know that only through your prayers and God’s help can I overcome this.  “This” is this:  when I am tired or stressed (which is much of the time), I sit in front of the TV and binge.  This is one of “those things we do” in my family.  It is causing me to lose time, health, victory.  I need victory in this area.  I need your prayers to change.

I need the power of my faithful, loving Lord to free me from “this”.  I know the solution, I just don’t do it.  The things I know to do are the very things I don’t do.  I know many of you are sitting on the edge of your computer chair with the answer.  Please don’t give me the “pat” answer, I know it.  Please, please pray for me.  My favorite scripture from my brother, David, right now is Psalm 13.  “How long oh Lord, Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me.  How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?  How long will my enemy triumph over me?  ….But I trust in Your unfailing love, my heart rejoices in Your salvation.  I will sing to the Lord for He has been good to me”.  Those are the words of the greatest human (outside of God Himself) that ever lived in my opinion.  I need your prayers, that is the truth.  Because of Christ I am perfect, I don’t need anything beside Him.  He is my deliverer.  Please pray as I draw closer to Him, He will drive out this “this”.  Today I am

Singing a broken melody to a perfect Lord,

Mary Ann

THURSDAY May 27, 2010

WORTHY IS THE LAMB (Darlene Zschech)

Worthy is the Lamb.  Worthy is the Lamb.  Thank You for the Cross, Lord, Thank You for the price You paid.  Bearing all my sin and shame in love You came, Your amazing Grace.  I am so grateful for Your love and protection in my life.  You are becoming more and more real to me every day.  You are not just a character that I read about and others talk about You, You are with me and I can sense You as I walk this life.

Moses was a man of faith, a man of vision, humble and obedient.  God used him mightily.  Scripture says …”and the Lord said furthermore unto him, put now thine hand into thy bosom,.  And he put his hand into his bosom; and when he took it out, behold, his hand was leprous as snow” Exodus 4:6)  David Wilkerson explains this as Moses learning what the flesh really looks like, it is full of leprosy.  When he touched near his heart, he saw just how “unclean” his flesh was.  When self (flesh) is in control, it is full of leprosy.  When we walk in our own abilities, the flesh is exalted and there is nothing pretty about our flesh full of “leprosy”.  It will fail us and others all the time. 

God then told Moses to put his hand back into his bosom and the leprosy was gone.  God had shown him how ugly his “flesh”  could be.  It is only under the direction of God that we can be free of “leprosy”.  It is when our soul is exposed, when our deepest sins are exposed and brought to the light before the Lord are we free from “leprosy”.  Our flesh has no power, it is full of “leprosy”.  It is only as we realize the condition of our own soul and run to the Savior for His mercy are we healed of our afflictions.  His forgiveness and His embrace.  He is worthy, He is our Healer.  I love Him so much….He has been so good to me.  Today I am

Washing off the “flesh” left behind,

Mary Ann

WEDNESDAY May 26, 2010

SO IN LOVE (Jeremy Camp)

Steps.  When I woke up this morning, I noticed how I took off my bedroom shoes before I went to bed.  They weren’t laying side by side as usual, it looked like I was walking out of them as I took the step, far enough apart to show my step distance.  I think about taking steps as I walk out this life.  Then I thought about watching the season finale of Biggest Loser last night.  In about 5 months that man had shed over 200 pounds.  He had a quick “fix” and succeeded in something that would normally take years to do. He was a sprinter rather than a long distance runner.  Slow, step by step, should be our relationship with Christ.  Our culture is used to fast.  Fast everything.  Waiting is a dirty word to all of us.  Step by step versus leaps is not our type of thinking.  We don’t want to take steps, we want to take jet airplanes. 

If I could just sit with you awhile.  I need You to hold me, moment by moment until forever passes by.  I need to lay in Your arms and rest, not struggle to get out and run this race, FAST.  Step by step, one moment at a time.  I won’t have the final “weigh in” until I stand in Your presence.  I will run this race with patience.  My steps are ordered, the length and the breath of my steps are in Your hands.  I will not allow the pressure of this world, to run here, do this, absorb my time and direction on this earth.  I’m telling my story as I advance toward my forever home.  I might be taking two steps forward and one step backward, but I am still dancing and walking life.  I am grateful that God will hold me when I can’t walk on my own.  I will not allow the pressures of this world to cause me to run so fast that I don’t have the time to sit at Your feet, and worship You slowly.  Today I am

Sitting under His shadow quietly and at peace,

Mary Ann

TUESDAY May 25, 2010

THANK YOU LORD (Dennis Jernigan)

Thank you for loving and setting me free, thank You for giving Your life just for me.  I am amazed that You love me so passionately.  For all that You have done and all that You are going to do, all that You’ve promised and all that You are is all that has carried me through.  When I think about the scripture that says that you watch over me as I sleep, I am in awe.  That you say to me “Come unto me”, that You are drawing me close to You.  Sometimes I get so busy with life that I forget to “sit with you awhile”.  The enemy of this world is constantly offering me “stuff” to draw me away from You.  I repent of the things that I put in front of my time with You.  I ask You to give me the strength today to say no to FaceBook and other distractions.  I ask You to fill my well with Living Water that I can only get from You.

“Those who look to Him are radiant, their faces are never covered with shame”.  It is so hard to comprehend the idea that I presented to you yesterday.  That we are all on “level playing fields”.  That someone who doesn’t struggle with food addictions, facebook addictions, etc can be the same as myself who does struggle with these things. All of us  are never covered with shame.  The reason that my face is never covered with shame is because my life is hidden in Christ and therefore there is no shame.  The reason that my face shines is because I am covered in the RIGHT eousness of Christ and not my own addictions and struggles.  I am so much more than what the human eye can see. 

Londyn says “I did it” all the time now.  She means “I do it” as she expresses her independence from others.  Much of that is natural and she will continue to “do it” as she grows up.  But In the spiritual world it is different.  Our natural self says “independence”, our spiritual life says “dependence”.  We are born with the draw to be independent of God in our lives.  We have to learn dependence, it doesn’t come naturally.  We learn that by “needing” Him and recognizing that we can’t “do it” alone.  As we taste and see that the Lord is good and He will never, ever fail us.  He is always there and we can depend on His loving kindness.  He desires us to come into His gates and into His courts with praise.  He will never deny our entrance.  He will stand up and say, “here is my child that I love deeply, they are allowed into my courts at all times”.  I can almost see a child playing in His palace as He conducts business.  A child that is privy to the God of the universe.  Today Lord, I will

Sit at Your feet and learn of Your ways, depending on You for everything I need

Mary Ann

MONDAY May 24, 2010

YOU ARE MY STRENGTH (Hillsong)

You are my strength, strength like no other reaches to me.  You are my hope, hope like no other reaches to me.  In the fullness of Your Grace, In the power of Your name, You lift me up, You lift me up.  Unfailing Love.  Jesus, You are my strength, I worship You.  I praise You, You love me, It is amazing!!!  You know my every move, You walk with me.  I cannot leave You behind, You live within my heart.  Forgive me for putting others and other things ahead of You.  Change my heart so that I might reflect more of Your glory as I walk out my life.  You lift me up, so that I might sit with You in High Places.  Keep the vision in my heart of the day that I reached up and You reached down.  You pulled me out and put Your arms around me and loved me like I had never been loved and never will be loved. 

Yesterday morning in church, I was impressed with this thought.  The world is teaching that we can find the peace and love that we crave if we look within ourselves with kindness.  We can love ourselves by learning that we have good inside us and finding that good will leads to self love and through that we are overcomers.  That teaching goes against the truth of God.  The Bible says that ALL of our righteousness is as “filthy” rags.  There is nothing good about us, except Jesus and HIS righteousness.  We can’t be good enough.  It is only after we accept His goodness that we are good.  It’s because of Him and because of His Grace we are all on a “level playing field”.  Whether we think “we are” of we think “we aren’t”, it makes no difference.  We are because He is, not because we are. 

I pray you can understand what I am saying.  We have no good, He is ALL GOOD, ALL THE TIME, IN EVERY SITUATION, HE IS PERFECT.  He is God and there is none like Him.  Within Him is the Perfection that we are looking for.  In Him ALL our dreams are fulfilled, ALL victory is won.  Standing behind Him, we find the Peace that we are all craving.  Standing behind Him is the protection that we need to conquer all the Giants in our lives.  He is our strength, He is our hope.  Today I am

Being made perfect because of Christ,

Mary Ann

p.s.  I’m not writing out the song word by word any more.  I am referring to it as I write and allowing the music to help lead me to the Throne Room.  If you want the words of the song, you can either google them on your computer or download the actual songs on your computer.  If you want me to put you on my Itunes List and send them to you, I will do that.  Just email me and let me know.  Also, if you know of anyone that would like to receive these emails, let me know and if you would like to be removed, please let me know as well. 

FRIDAY May 21, 2010

SAVIOR, PLEASE (Josh Wilson)

Savior, please take my hand
I work so hard, I live so fast
This life begins, and then it ends
And I do the best that I can, but I don't know how long I'll last
I try to be so tough
But I'm just not strong enough
I can't do this alone, God I need You to hold on to me
I try to be good enough
But I'm nothing without Your love
Savior, please keep saving me
Savior, please help me stand
I fall so hard, I fade so fast
Will You begin right where I end
And be the God of all I am because You're all that I have
I try to be so tough
But I'm just not strong enough
I can't do this alone, God I need You to hold on to me
I try to be good enough
But I'm nothing without Your love
Savior, please keep saving me
Hallelujah
Everything You are to me
Is everything I'll ever need
And I am learning to believe
That I don't have to prove a thing
'Cause You're the one who's saving me

Good morning Lord.  Thank you for another day.  This life begins and then it ends.  I try to be so tough, but I’m just not strong enough.  I can’t do this alone, I need You to hold on to me.  The words of this song absolutely mirror my emotions this morning.  It has been a busy week.  There have been highs, there have been lows, life continues.  I will praise You for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  You, Oh Lord, are the refreshment of my soul.  I’m not gonna hide, I’m not gonna run away.  You, Oh Lord, mend my bruises.  Thank You for choosing me.  Thank You for seeing something in me that was worth saving. 

It’s amazing to me that I can let one small person say something negative to me about me and it devastates me.  I allow that small comment to validate me.  It’s as though I get in agreement with those words and say, yes, that’s right, I am whatever that person says.  It is so easy to believe a lie when it fits right into what I believe about myself.  Rather than listening to the Lord, I listen to what I suspect is true.  But…there is hope…because I believe it fast…but I get over it faster.  I take what I have learned about what God says about me and say, NO, that’s not the truth.  Here’s the truth.

God says that He Loves and Accepts me.  He says there will never be another me.  He says that He has dreams and plans for me, plans to prosper me and not to harm me.  He says I am the apple of His eye.  He says He willingly gave His life for me.  He says that I am seated with Him in High Places.  He says that this earth is not my home, that I am just passing through.  He has given me hope and a future.  He has blessed me with the most awesome family of anyone I know.  He says that He watches me as I sleep and stands beside me all day.  He says all my needs are met according to His riches in glory.  Today is my day with my darling, granddaughter and I will rejoice and be glad in it.  Today I am

Forgetting the lie,

Mary Ann

THURSDAY May 20, 2010

A THOUSAND MILES (Free Chapel)

I have walked a thousand miles with all my tests and all my trials

And then You love me for me

And in the refuge of Your wings, I can rest in you safely

Lord, You cover me

Now I can finally see, it was Your love changing me

It’s Your mercy that draws me near

By Your grace I’m standing here

No matter the road I’ve walked, it’s covered my wrongs

I realize it’s true, there is none like You

I will run this race of life

Pressing on toward the prize, its’ You

My reward is You

I will live because You died and as You rose I will rise in You victoriously

now I can finally see it was Your hand yearning  me

I can finally see how Your love has guided me

There’s one thing I have found to be true

There’s none like You

There’s none like You

There’s none like You

There’s none like You

There’s none like You.  Good morning Lord Jesus.  Thank You for loving me and giving me an opportunity to walk in faith and integrity depending on Your Word to guide me.  There’s one thing I’ve found to be true…there’s none like You, Jesus.  You are perfect in all Your ways.  I am hidden in Your mercy and Grace.  My reward is You and the knowledge that I will rule and reign with You victoriously in this life and in the forever life.  You are kind and I will follow Your Ways.

There was a decision that I was trying to make concerning buying a house.  We received notice that the loan was approved With Conditions.  One of those conditions demanded a decision of integrity on our part.  We could go the way of the “total” truth or the way of the “sorta, kinda, could be” truth.  In other words we could make it true and to the outside world, it would be okay, but in our heart or hearts there were questions????  I wrestled inside, “Should I”????  It would make kinda, sorta sense and I could kinda, sorta reconcile it in my mind.  The kinda, sorta should have been a sign to me that something wasn’t right.  We believe that we are making the right decision to buy this house, we really like it and want to do this….but….the questions????  Could it be, could it not be???  I called one of my dearest friends at 3:30 in the morning to get her counsel.  She is straight forward and I knew she would help me sort “it” out in my mind.  She did and I did.

Kinda, sorta doesn’t get it!!!  The truth will set you free, not the I want it to happen truth.  Thank You Lord Jesus for wise counsel and the ability to walk in integrity, no matter the consequences.  I will do what is right, no matter the outcome.  You will set my feet on a straight narrow path without compromising our integrity.  This decision wasn’t something solid that was wrong, it was a small fox that could “spoil the vine”.  I don’t want my vine to be spoiled.  I want to continue to be connected to the True Vine, producing the sweet fruit that can only come from His Vine.  Thank You for a strong conscious that desires to “do the right thing”, not the “this will work thing”.  Thank you for stopping me in my tracks and bothering me and continually drawing me to fall at Your feet and worship You in truth and integrity.  Thank You for protecting me and showing me the right way so that I can sit at Your feet without shame, fear or worry.  My hope is in You.  I know that we make a plan in our heart, but You direct our steps.  Great is Your love poured out for us.  Today I am

Putting it all in His Hands,

Mary Ann

WEDNESDAY May 19, 2010

I WILL RISE (Chris Tomlin)

There's a peace I've come to know
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There's an anchor for my soul
I can say "It is well"
Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise
There's a day that's drawing near
When this darkness breaks to light
And the shadows disappear
And my faith shall be my eyes
Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise
And I hear the voice of many angels sing,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
And I hear the cry of every longing heart,
"Worthy is the Lamb"

I love, love this song.  I heard Chris Tomlin sing this song live on TV the other night and I got so excited that I almost ran through the house.  Worthy is the Lamb.  I hear the angels sing, Worthy, Worthy and I hear the voice of many angels sing.  Can’t you almost hear them singing Worthy, worthy.  I am one of those longing hearts.  Singing and bowing before my Lord, thanking Him for all of His love for me.  I will rise on Eagle’s Wings, before my God and Fall on my knees and Rise, I will rise.  The logic behind falling on my knees and rising doesn’t seem to go together in the natural.  Falling on my knees seems a way of surrendering….how does that add up to rising?  Falling…Rising????  Kingdom principals are so much different than principals of this natural world.  Falling…Rising?? Jesus has overcome and the grave is overwhelmed.  Victory is Won, He is risen from the dead and I WILL RISE.

This thought came to me this morning about banking and the financial aspects of my soul.  How can you draw out of a bank account without first making the deposits in?  Your net worth is made up of many components.  I thought of the value of my soul’s net worth.  I have my main asset which is the solid knowledge that I have been adopted by God, the Creator of the Whole Universe and everything in it.  I am a child of the King.  Everything that belongs to Him, I have inherited.  I have huge deposits in my bank account because of His love for me.  Even in the beginning of this paragraph I was thinking about what I can do.  But the Holy Spirit reminded me that “it” has already been taken care of by Jesus.  My deposits are so very small, they don’t really even make a difference in my “net worth”.  I am an heir, I don’t even have to work, I am a billionaire because my Father is a King.  That humbles me, that makes me get on my knees and say “it is well”, Jesus has overcome.  Jesus has put the deposits into my soul’s bank account.

Not having to work is a concept that naturally rubs against my intellect. It is hard for me to surrender and lay back and accept the lavish life that You have given me.  I border on being “too responsible”.  In the natural that is a good thing, but spiritual principles sometimes seem opposite from the natural (fall…rise???).  I will rejoice in You O Lord, because I know these principles are in Your Word and even if they are hard to understand many times, I will accept them because You have said “it”, I believe “it” and that settles “it”.  The reason I want to read more about “it” is not to add to my bank account, but to take what has already been given and live like a King’s Kid rather than a pauper.  I want to learn more about my inheritance so that I can tell other’s how much You desire to add them to Your family.  To teach other’s how they can become a Child of the King.  Show others what a child looks like that realizes who their Father is and how much He loves them.  Today I am

Falling…Rising????

Mary Ann

TUESDAY May 18, 2010

Praise You in the Storm

I was sure by now That You would have reached down And wiped our tears away Stepped in and saved the day But once again, I say “Amen”, and it’s still raining As the thunder rolls I barely hear Your whisper through the rain “I’m with you” And as You mercy falls I raise my hands and praise the God who gives And takes away I’ll praise You in this storm And I will life my hands For You are who You are No matter where I am Every tear I’ve cried You hold in Your hand You never left my side And though my heart is torn I will praise You in this storm I remember when I stumbled in the wind You heard my cry You raised me up again My strength is almost gone How can I carry on If I can’t find You As the thunder rolls I barely hear You whisper through the rain “I’m with you” And as Your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise the God who gives And takes away I lift my eyes unto the hills Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord The Maker of Heaven and Earth

Good morning Lord Jesus.  My finger still hurts and it isn’t easy writing this….but I am pressing forward.  As the thunder rolls, I barely hear you whisper through the rain, “I am still with you”.  I will praise You no matter how I feel.  Though my heart is torn, I will praise you in this storm.  My body still aches from a terrible sunburn…something I inflicted on myself.  You never leave my side, You tenderly watch over me.  Where does my help come from?  It comes from You Lord, the Maker of Heaven and Earth.  I will lift my hands, You are who You are, no matter who I am.  I will praise You, I will go to the Rock that is higher than I am.  I will do as my brother David and choose life over death and darkness.

Last night the electricity went out for a long time.  I couldn’t sleep, something about being without electricity made me unsettled.  I was up and down all night.  The thought came coming to me how lost I was without the light.  I had to trust my ability to walk in total darkness and it didn’t “feel” right.  I stumbled, I felt extremely uncomfortable as though I had never walked in this house.  It reminded me of a secular book that I read last week that had many phenomenal concepts about losing weight.  As I read this book, I somehow felt uncomfortable, struggling within myself.  The truths were there and I am sure that the concepts are freeing….but I just couldn’t get settled.  It “felt” as though the electricity was out (so to speak).  I grappled, I stumbled, I “felt” as though I had never walked in my “house”(body).

Do I trust You, Lord?  Do I trust You with this chapter of my life.  Even if I can only hear You whisper, I will praise You in this storm.  You have never left my side, though my heart in torn, I WILL TO PRAISE YOU IN THIS STORM.  You hear my cry and raise me up again.  How can I carry on if I can’t find You.  You say to me that You are with me.  “And Jesus said unto them, ‘Do you believe I am able to do this?’ They said, ‘Yes, Lord.’...And their eyes were opened" (Matthew 9:28-30 NKJV).I believe that You are able to do “this”.  It is not by my power or my might (or the world’s might), but by Your Spirit.  I love You Lord for loving me.  Today I am

Encouraged in the Lord,

Mary Ann 

FRIDAY May 14, 2010

BREAK THROUGH (Michael English)

I sing all the songs

Read all about you

Know right from wrong

What does it amount to

My life doesn’t show how much I love you

I need you to break through, tear down all the walls

Let everything fall

I want to praise you, nothing between you and me

I need you to break through

I know there is more yet to discover

So many things, you want to uncover

I’ve made  just a scratch in the surface

I want to go deeper.

Break through the pride,

Break through the shame

I’ve had enough of staying the same

Break through the fear

I’m getting tired of staying the same

I want to praise you, nothing between you and me.  I will praise You this morning, not because I “feel” like it, but because I love You and I recognize Your heart in my life.  I sense Your concern for me, I sense Your protection over me.  Nothing between You and me.  Father, if I have sinned against Your love for me, please forgive me.  Yes, I know that I was guilty of “that” and I ask for Your forgiveness.  I thank You Jesus for bearing the weight of my sin.  Father, give me the strength to overcome the iniquity in my life.  Tear down the walls and let everything fall, I want to praise You, nothing between you and me.  Break through my pride, break through the drive to please others.  Forgive me give me Your mercy to forgive others that have hurt and offended me.  I’ve had enough of staying the same.  I’ve had enough of “being normal” whatever that means.  I’ve had enough of desiring to “keep everyone happy”.  I desire to be who You have made me to be, not what I perceive “humans” expect of me.

Normal.  I often thought, “if I could just look like that other person, if I could just succeed in “that” area of my life….then everything would be good”.  Then I talk to some of those people and I see that even though they are “perfect” because they are “whatever???”, they still struggle with something or someone.  I listen to them in amazement and I have great compassion on their fears and struggles.  I think “this can’t be, if I looked like them, I would always be happy, I wouldn’t wake up in the morning crying out to God, praying for His touch”.  I would have everything I need if I could just “overcome” this problem that I have. 

How humbling it is that You love me, Lord Jesus.  Your love for me is the only “perfect” thing I have ever known.  You know me better than anyone else.  Scriptures say that man looks on the outer man, but You look on the heart.  Father, I can’t fix my heart, I don’t even know it that well, but You do and You can.  I ask You to fix my heart, make me more like You.  I desire my life to shout “I LOVE YOU JESUS, I NEED YOU, YOU ARE THE ONLY WAY TO PEACE”.  I need a break through, I need to have my temple repaired and restored.  You have a plan, I want to carry it out.  Give me the direction that I need, show me the blueprints.  If I don’t have the responsibility to follow the blueprints, that is Your Job Description, let me at least wake up every day ready to work in the responsibility You have for me.  And also, God, please make my job clearer, sometimes my attention is scattered.  Today I am

Secure knowing there is a plan,

Mary Ann

THURSDAY May 13, 2010

WE CRY OUT (Gateway Worship)

Father of life seated on Your throne of grace

It’s only by Your mercy we are saved

Lord, You have said if we call upon Your name

We and our families will be saved

So we cry out Your name, El Shaddai, God of Grace

Lord most High, Jesus Christ

We rely on Your grace, Adonai, crowned in Praise

Lord most High, Jesus Christ

Jesus, Jesus

Father of love never failing to forgive

This moment is a gift for today

We’re only here to tell the world about Your Grace

Until the day You take us all away.

Lord, this wonderful exciting day that You have prepared for me is here and I look forward to it.  I rely on Your Grace, I appreciate Your forgiveness and love extended toward me.  I will lift my heart unto the hills today from where my help comes from.  Psalm 118:  “In my anguish I cried to the Lord and he answered by setting me free.  The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid.  The Lord is with me, He is my helper.  I was pushed back and about to fall, but the Lord helped me.  The Lord is my strength and my song.” Sounds like my brother David had some of the some things in his life that I do.  Holy, Holy Lord God Almighty.  You are Holy.  God chose me, me, AMAZING!!!

“Thus the work on the house of God in Jerusalem came to a standstill until…..” Ezra 4:24.  What stopped them?  Who cut in on them?  God had a plan to rebuild the temple, what made them come to a standstill?  According to scriptures before this one, satan and his folks came against them.  They told lies, they connived against the plans of God for His Children. 

Until????  The Until was coming, God had a plan and He did accomplish His Plan.  I don’t completely understand the “standstill” part.  I have been in the “standstill” part in different degrees of my life at different times. 

But….I know God has a plan.  From the moment He called me, He had a plan.  He has fulfilled many of His plans in my life.  I have a wonderful family, I am blessed way, way beyond words.  My cup overflows with His goodness and kindness in my life.  When I deserved nothing, He has given me so much. I have given up all hope of pleasing God by any effort of the flesh.  I am learning that the only way to please God is by loving and surrendering everything to Jesus.  He is the only good thing in me. I believe the Word of God.  I am learning how to live my life by listening and observing others that have gone before me. I will not give up, The Lord has a plan and He will accomplish what He has started in me.  Today

Who Can Imagine,

Mary Ann 

WEDNESDAY May 12, 2010

EVERYTHING (Chris Quilala)

Find me here, speak to me

I want to feel, I need to hear

You are the light that’s leading me

To the place where I find peace again

You are the strength that keeps me walking

You are the hope that keeps me trusting

You are the light into my soul

You are my purpose, You’re everything

How can I stand here with You and not be moved by You

You tell me how could it be and better than this

How can I stand here with You and not be moved by You

You tell me how could it be and better than this

Cause you’re all I want, you’re all I need, everything, everything

You’re all I want, you’re all I need, everything, everything

You’re all I want, you’re all I need, everything, everything

You’re all I want, you’re all I need, everything, everything

Good morning, Lord Jesus.  It’s me again.  I need You.  It was refreshing getting into Your Word and just reading a little bit helped my soul.  It felt like cool water pouring over my soul.  Like taking a drink of cool water for a dry, thirsty, parched soul.  You are all I want, You are all I need.  You have been so good to me.  I enjoy Your peace that floods my soul.  I desire to drink more of Your fresh water today.  It is better with my soul.  I have had some rough days, walking in the flesh.  I relate with my brother, Paul.  The things I want to do, I don’t do and the things I don’t want to do, those are the things that I do.  My flesh is wretched.  I try to be honest in these emails, but because of fear or other’s opinions, I sometimes hide and don’t admit the truth.  That clogs up the River of Life in my soul.  I have to be honest.  I know that the truth will set me free. 

I read about someone in the Bible that I have never studied before.  His name was Zerubbabel and after Solomon’s temple was destroyed, he was commissioned to build another one.  After he started the temple, people made him stop.  Then after about 10 years, he began the temple again.  God told him to “start again”.  He also told him it was not by might, nor by power, but by the Spirit of God (Zechariah 4:6).  The Scriptures say, “The hands of Zerubbabel have laid the foundation of this temple; his hands will also complete it.  Then you will know that the Lord Almighty has sent me to you.  Who despises the day of small thing?”  Zechariah 4:9&10.  I am going to study more about this gentleman in the Bible.  I believe the Lord has something awesome to say about him that can help me “start over”.

Today is a day of new beginnings.  I have tried so long and maybe I’ve accepted where I am.  I need my hope restored in this area of my life.  I will get up and try again.  Trying again takes God’s strength in my life.  It is by His might and His power that I can push back the chair that I have been sitting in and stand up and walk.  My steps might be a little wobbly at first.  I will rise when He calls my name.  No more sorrow, no more pain.  I will ride on Eagle’s wings.  I was amazed the other day as an eagle swooped down in my yard and just stood there for a minute.  I now think it was a heavenly visitation to look at that huge bird and be reminded on “riding on eagle’s wings” as he flapped his large wings and pointed toward the sky and flew away.  I hear the voice of many angels sing, “Worthy is the Lamb”.  Today I am

Before my God, falling on my knees,

Mary Ann

TUESDAY May 11, 2010

HOLD US TOGETHER (Matt Maher)

It don't have a job
Don't pay your bills
Won't buy you a home
In Beverly Hills
Won't fix your life
And find easy steps
Ain't the low or the limp
Or the government
But it’s all  you need
Love, will, hold us together
Make us a shelter
to weather the storm
And I'll, be, my brother’s keeper
So the whole world will know
That we're not alone
It's waiting for you
Knocking at your door
Every moment of truth
When your heart hits the floor
When you're on your knees then
Love, will, hold us together
Make us a shelter
to weather the storm
And I'll, be, my brother’s keeper
So the whole world will know
That we're not alone
This is the first, day of the rest of your life
This is the first, day of the rest of your life
'Cause even in the dark you can still see the light
It's going to be alright,  it’s going to be alright
This is the first, day of the rest of your life
This is the first, day of the rest of your life
'Cause even in the dark you can still see the light
It's going to be alright, it’s going to be alright
Love, will, hold us together
Make us a shelter
to weather the storm
And I'll, be, my brother’s keeper
So the whole world will know
That we're not alone

Good morning Lord Jesus.  Feelings are this:??????  Facts are this:  You love me.  Your love towards me does not change based on my behavior.  Your mercies are new every morning.  The only thing good in my life is You and Your righteousness.  You have plans for me, plans to prosper and be in good health, even as my soul prospers.  I make a decision today to walk in the truth and faith and not in my “feelings”.  They are subject to change and Your truth that I have been given through the years never changes.  Love will hold me together, Love, true love that only Christ can give will weather the storm.

Lord, I need time with You today.  I need to dig into Your Word that feeds me.  I need to pour out my heart to You, Wash Your feet and let you tell me what You think about the circumstances and relationships in my life.  Time is what I need.  I can’t give out what I haven’t poured in.  I am pursuing a deeper relationship with someone right now and I know that I have to open my heart in order to make room for this person.  I desire to know this person better.  The only way that will happen is time and commitment.

So today Lord, I desire to spend more time with You.  I will not allow any of the other voices of life to keep me from listening to and hearing Your still small voice.  You deserve more of my attention and I will give it to You.  You feed my soul, You give me water for the dry places.  It can’t come from anywhere else, You are the Living Water and You will never run dry.  There is no substitution for time.  I have heard others say it’s quality time versus actual time (seconds, minutes & etc).  Yes, quality time is important…..but can’t be a substitute for actual time being full of quality.  Needless to say that today I am

Not in a hurry,

Mary Ann

FRIDAY May 7, 2010

SOMETHING’S GOTTA CHANGE (Josh Wilson)

I’m thirsty, God I’m thirsty

From drinking what destroys me

I’m pouring poison in my cup

I’m hungry, God I’m hungry

Consume me, what controls me

Somehow it never fills me up

We all want to find something to pass the time, but that could never be enough

Everybody says we’re all so different

Everybody knows we’re all the same

We all try to find a pill to numb the pain

Something’s gotta change

Do you remember where you have so much hopeless in you

It lingers deep inside you still

Though more of us we swallow

The more we become hollow

Until we don’t know how to feel

We all want to find something to satisfy, but we could never be enough

When everything we say and take just leads to war and hate

We only pass the blame and sedate the pain and move along

But something feels so wrong

So deep inside, so hard to hide

So desperately we try and try and come to find we are not what we are looking for

I can’t believe that I’m hearing people say that all is well

I think it’s time we all admit we have no good inside ourselves

Cause we are not okay, we’re not allright

We need to pray for help

Forgive us for our pride, Oh God, Oh God please save us from ourselves

I hope I have all the words to this song.  It is a very intense song with lots of good words.  You challenge me, Lord Jesus.  I have been saying and praying these words for quite awhile now and I believe you are doing great things in my heart and life.  I am listening to the wisdom that you have given other men and women.  I am learning to depend on You.  We are making plans in our heart….but you are directing our steps.  We realize that we are not what we are looking for.  We are listening for that still small voice, but when we are not hearing it, You are shouting and we hear that.  God help us.  We are Your children and we love and honor You as being the Lord of our lives.

Right now as I “speak”, my little darling is lying in the bed.  We had a wonderful day yesterday and today we are going to “play” all day.  I delight in her and she delights in me.  My heart just jumps when I hear her say “meme.”  Yesterday I followed her around and let her explore many different places and things.  I only intervened when I thought something was going to harm her.  I simply walked beside her and allowed her to go where she wanted to go, do what she wanted to do.  I could see where the dangers were, she couldn’t.  I was amused, intrigued, interested in her “wanderings”.  She heard children’s voices when we were at the park and wanted to get to the kids and play.  She started off in the wrong direction though and I had to make her get in the golf cart and go around instead of going straight through the woods (the shorter way).  She wasn’t happy, she didn’t understand, but I knew best and when she got to the other park, she was happy and content in seeing the other children.

Lord, You are good, You are faithful.  You are so much better than even my small attempts of love and protection towards my precious granddaughter.  You are God, the Creator of the whole Earth.  You have all power.  The problem with me is that many times I am like Londyn and think I know the right way more than You.  Do I hear something and think I know without a doubt the way to get there?  Unfortunately I do.  Forgive me, never leave my side.  To the ends of the whole earth, Your love endures forever.  Jesus, You gave Your life for me.  You have shown Your deep love and commitment to me.  You have proven time and time again that You know how to get “there”.  I trust You, even when I am headstrong and think and act like I know what to do more than You.  Today I am

Delighting in that little girl,

Mary Ann

THURSDAY May 6, 2010

THIS IS OUR GOD (Hillsong)

Your grace is enough, more than I need, at Your word I will believe

I wait for you, draw near again, let your Spirit make me new

And I will fall at Your feet, I will fall at your feet

And I will worship You here

Your presence in me, Jesus like the wind

By the power of Your word,

I am restored, I am redeemed

By your spirit, I am free

And I will fall at Your feet, I will fall at Your feet

And I will worship You here

Freely You gave it all for us, surrendered Your life upon that cross

Great is Your love, poured out for us

This is our God

You lifted on high from death to life

Forever our God is glorified

Servant and King, You rescued the world

This is our God

And I will fall at Your feet, I will fall at Your feet

And I will worship You here

And I will fall at Your feet, I will fall at Your feet

And I will worship You here

Freely you gave it all for us, surrendered Your life upon that cross

Great is Your love poured out for all

This is our God

Lifted on high from death to life, forever our God is glorified

Servant and King, this is our God.

Oh to know You, Lord Jesus.  To wake up in the morning with the warmth of Your love covering me.  I will fall at Your feet, I will fall at Your feet and I will worship You here.  I know that You are with me this day.  I know that Your love for me is higher than the highest mountain, deeper than the deepest valley.  You are an all consuming God that has chosen me to walk with You on this earth and live forever with You in heaven after my retirement from this earth.  I will fall at Your feet and worship You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  This is my God.  Nothing on this earth compares to Your love for me.  The whole earth is filled with Your Glory.  There is no one like You.  My heart is grateful for Your presence in my life.  Where can I go that You are not there?

Hmmmm….what to talk about this morning?  Holy Spirit, I ask You to speak through me, I ask You to give me and my friends an encouragement that will help us be over comers in our surroundings.  Practical.  Many times I have lived in a “twilight zone” type mentality.  I’ve been guilty of putting on my “spiritual” antennas and going here or doing that.  Don’t get me wrong, I believe that God walks with us during the day and as my brother Isaiah says, “it’s in the small whisper that I hear God.”  God does speak with us and we do hear him…but in some of the decisions that we make in this life, we have already had the Word given to us in the Bible.  We can go to what God has already said and make many of our decisions.  We don’t need a lightning bolt of revelation, we already have the whisper of God in the Bible.  We aren’t robots that hear God and go here, go there, do this, say that.  We have a free will given to us at creation.  God allows us to make many of our decisions based on the Truth of His Word already given.

Lord, I ask You today to increase our knowledge of the Truth given in Your Word.  I ask You to give us the wisdom found in Your Word.  To have Your Word hidden in our heart that we might not sin against You.  There are so many opportunities out there to listen to Your Truth.  I desire to live my life based on the Truth of Your Word, not just in a “twilight zone” type mentality.  To know for sure what the Truth says and allow the Truth to set me free.  Allow me to tell others this wonderful gift that I have been given.  To show someone Your compassion and love.  I ask You to deliver me from evil and that I will not be led into temptation.  Today I am

A little girl that loves a Big God,

Mary Ann

WEDNESDAY May 5, 2010

TAKE IT ALL (Third Day)

All the promises I've broken
All the times I've let you down
You've forgot them
But still I hold on to
the pain that makes me drown
Now I'm ready
To let it go
To give it away
Take it all
'Cause I can't take it any longer
All I have, I can't
make it on my own
Take the first, take the last
Take the good and take the rest
Here I am, all I have
Take it all
All the roads that lie before me
All the struggles I go through
Every second I'm reminded
That it all belongs to you
Now I'm ready
To let it go
To give it away
Ever since I died to myself
You gave a better life to me
I give you my finest moment
I give you the last breath I breathe

Good Morning, Lord Jesus.  Hear the song of my heart this morning as I pour it out to You.  You are washing me with grace and carrying me through it all.  I live to praise and worship You, Oh Lord.  I raise the banner of Your goodness and love towards me as I walk on this “journey”.  I want others to see You in me.  I know that only as they see You will their lives be changed.  I have nothing to offer in this flesh.  Only as I submit this flesh to Your Spirit can I see lasting results.

Yesterday was a day of enlightment about pulling down strongholds.  I learned that one of the reasons to overcome strongholds is for our future generations.  I have a wonderful family, I love them soooo much.  I want to be the one that changes the direction of their lives for future generations to come.  I am chosen to be a disciple and lover of Jesus Christ.  I desire to be a modern day David (I even have a friend that calls me Davida).  David was a man after God’s own heart.  He changed the course of his family’s members.  Even after his death, the Bible blessed his lineage because of David’s dedication to His Lord while he was living. 

It’s all by the power of Christ that lives and dwells in this body.  He is an Overcoming, Victorious God that breaks sin in my life.  Christ has risen, Jesus, You are Lord of ALL (and I mean all).  You are my heart and my defense.  I desire to submit everything that I am, everything that I own, everywhere I go to You.  I ask You today to use my voice to speak the truth of Your Word to a lost and hurting world.  I will lift Your Name High and Proclaim to all who will listen that You are Lord and You have Won the Victory.  You are Lord of all.  Thy kingdom be done here like it is in Heaven.  Lead me not into temptation and deliver me from evil as I walk my path.  I love You and today I am

Expecting good things,

Mary Ann

TUESDAY May 4, 2010

NEVER LET ME GO (Ben Cantelon)

Your ways are always greater

Though I may not see

Your promise is written on my heart

And I look to You, my Savior

When I am weak

I find rest in the shadow of Your Wing

Father, I know You will never let me go

You’re always there

And when the darkness is surrounding, still you love me so

Yes, You love me so

Your Word is never failing

Strength for today

I have hidden Your Word in my heart

You are strength for today

And bright hope for tomorrow

Good morning, Lord.  I could surely use some of Your strength for today.  I know You will never let me go, Your Word has given me that promise and Hope.  I have hidden Your Words in my heart through the years and I find that the seeds that I have planted are springing up and giving me the strength that I need to be able to go through life.  I look to You when I am weak and I find rest in the shadow of Your wing.  You love me so and You are the victory in the battles and struggles that I face.

Battles and struggles.  As we walk through life, I know there are many kinds of days that we go through.  Some days we have battles, some days we have struggles, some days we have total victory.  Battles come from without, struggles come from within and victory comes from God.  We are either fighting the enemy face to face  or we are dealing with inward struggles of the soul (fighting with ourselves).  Everyone is different and there are no clear cut formulas, no win all book written that can tell us exactly “how to do it”.  Each one of us is unique and only God Himself knows the inner workings of our heart.  Pat answers don’t always work.  When we become so “spiritual” that we know just how you are supposed to do it and what everyone else needs, we might be ready for a fall.

It’s complete dependence and trust in Him.  It’s loving the unlovable and accepting them just as they are.  It’s listening when You want to “fix”.  It’s knowing that outside of God’s wisdom, you have nothing to offer except love.  It’s being willing to open up and share your heart.  It’s being willing to come out of the darkness and allow the light of Christ to shine and reveal openly those “dark” areas.  The Ways of the Lord are greater.  If we think we can “hide” “it”, we are deceived.  “It” will never be healed if the light doesn’t shine on “it”.  Still You love me so.  Moses hid his sin when he retreated to the desert.  Not much was written about him in that period of His life….but later when he was in front of the Israelites (community) was where the “real” Moses was known….the Moses that teaches lesson after lesson about how to live life, where he came close to his “promised land”.  Today I am

Rambling, but learning,

Mary Ann 

MONDAY May 3, 2010

THE WINNER IN ME (Coco)

When I looked at my reflection in the mirror,
I said this can't be happening to me,
I wasn't ready for the challenge for my life was still imbalanced and the pleasing guide of my fans and friends still had demand on me.
To find out who I was did not come easy,
for I felt like I was in this race alone,
until I heard a voice speak clearly saying there's a winner within me,
and I was charged to beat the odds and with victory I'll say- The winner in me pushed me forward when my problems would push me down the winner in me would fall my freedom when my surroundings kept me confound.
So let's make one thing perfectly clear there's a reason why I’m still here
The winner in me pushed me forward when my problems would push me down the winner in me would fall my freedom when my surroundings kept me confound.
So let's make one thing perfectly clearly there's a reason why I’m still here.
The winner in me would bring me peace
The winner in me would be my refuge when my surroundings would drive me insane when my security became my blame..God's taken me to my destination there's a winner in me and His name is Jesus
If it had not been for Jesus I would've lost my mind
The only way that I didn’t faint when nobody else would come to my rescue
Jesus is the winner in me!

Good Morning Lord Jesus.  My hours are a little confused as I woke up later than usual but I also went to bed much later than normal.  Thank you for a great weekend.  I spent time with my family, natural and church family.  I was able to listen to some really good teaching about living a life of freedom and hope.  The winner in me is Jesus and He is continually pushing me forward.  He is the winner in me, He is taking me to my destiny.  He is teaching me how to live a more victorious life.  I am grateful that He has chosen me to pour His heart into.  I am amazed that I am His child and that I will never die.  My soul will live forever in a peace that I can’t even express adequately.

Paul said this, “For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified.”   “I made up my mind to pay attention to only one thing while I was with you. That one thing was Jesus Christ and his death on the cross”.  “For I decided to concentrate only on Jesus Christ and His death on the Cross”.  “I came to you in weakness and fear and with much trembling,  My message and preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power, so that your faith might not rest on men’s wisdom, but on God’s power”.  1 Corinthians 2:2-5  David Wilkerson (a modern day prophet) says this, “I have no good in me at all. The kind of repentance that God is looking for is confessing the weakness of our futile efforts and denying that we have any power at all in ourselves.” 

Mary Ann Seman, a modern day wife, mother, grandmother, daughter, sister, and on and on says Yes and Amen.  There is no good in me except Jesus Christ and him crucified.  I’m captured by the Holy Spirit of God that lives in my heart and my mind is submitted to Him.  Mold me, Use me, Fill me, I give my life to the Potter’s Hand.  I am trusting His ability to make a beautiful piece of pottery that can demonstrate His ability in His creation.  Set me apart, Lord, I know that You are for me.  You have planted dreams and desires within me that only can be accomplished by Your working on me and in me.  I am not on this earth by mistake.  Nothing You do is by mistake.  I give my life to You.  You are able to continue the “work” that You have started on me.  You don’t just stop the wheel and let the clay melt down and become a mass of “nothing”.  I believe that You already see in Your mind the finished product.  I trust You.  Today I am

Messy, still wet, but becoming a beautiful piece of pottery,

Mary Ann